Screen Door Welcomes, But Southern Hospitality Not On The Menu

The original review is long overdue for posting. The Screen Door was originally visited Labor Day Weekend of 2006 (so timeliness isn't one of my strong points)....

Today's posting is a review of a new addition to Portland's breakfast scene - The Screen Door. Located in a former furniture (Sofa, Table, Chair) store on East Burnside, the restaurant is wide open making it comfortable, low-key and oh-so-Portland-chic at the same time. The menu follows the same path that is common-place (and celebrated) in Portland. One part single-minded infatuation with an idea/aesthetic and one part DIY, blend together and bake on high for a few hours. The idea here, Southern home cookin'. And they defend it as you would your momma. Whatever you do, don't you dare comment on the grits' viscosity, just don't OK, trust me (see below).

Getting back to the interior, my favorite part was the mason jars filled with marinated yummies. I was quite tempted to crack one open, but I held back. I was also pleased to see the assortment of condiments awaiting us. Good ol' Crystal sauce, Tabasco and homemade vinegared peppers. This sure got my tastebuds dancing with anticipation of how I might employ these goodies.

Sorry, now back to the menu and the food. The menu, a one sided affair was chock full of options. Perhaps too many. In this reviewer's opinion, I'd want to limit the choices considerably to bring focus to the dining experience and to creating a consistent, even product from the kitchen. There were highs and lows. Locally cured bacon, yummy french toast (good to great); Other items, not so much.

I will return to this restaurant. I feel I owe it to 'em. I'm curious to see if this interesting concept hits its stride and can survive the vicious Portland restaurant industry. I'm rooting for you screen door. But like the Little Engine That Could, you'll need to get over that hill on your own accord.

So, that leads me to the defensive server from Maryland, who is a self described expert on Southern cooking (clearly not Southern hospitality). When my wife was non-plussed with her grits, the restaurant manager elected to waive the cost from our bill - very generous and unexpected. However, with an exaggerated roll of the eyes and patronizing tone, our server began to tell us how our opinions were wrong. Even though Maryland was a slave state and the Battle of Antietam was waged on her soil, Maryland never did secede from the Union. Why bring up this fact? I'm just trying to ascertain what made our server an expert on the South's rich culinary heritage? Please loyal readers, help me understand this with any comments you are driven to post.

Blue Moon Over Summit County

Because your faithful reviewer was out of town on a recent business trip to Colorado, he was unable to file a report on any local Portland b-fast joints. So, here's a report from afar....

On a quick stop before we headed up for a hike atop Loveland Pass, our local guides (Tom & Corrie) directed us to the Blue Moon Bakery in Dillon/Silverthorne, Colorado. In a relatively non-descript stripmall in this mountain town lies the bakery. Its breakfast menu was succinct offering up a healthy variety of breakfast bagel sandwiches and breakfast burritos. Its atmosphere was deli all the way...direct/abrupt service at the counter. It was every man for themselves as the place was hopping with Sunday morning traffic.

The ordering was fast and efficient, and very do it yourself. Condiments? Pick 'em up at the condiment bar. Cutlery? Get it yourself. Buss your own table? You better or else. Service was on par with what you'd expect out of a mountain town. Employers are lucky just to get an employee to come off of the slopes long enough to clock in. Friendliness to the tourists is the last of their priorities. But, after three days back in the mountains, I had grown numb to this reality.

Food came fast and hot, keeping with the strategy of get 'em in, take their money and get the food to 'em quick so we can fit a few more tourists in before the season ends (and the stream of money along with it). These breakfast sandwiches were almost as good as Dave K's and the freshly baked boiled bagels were dense and chewy. Overall, it was the perfect pre-hike caloric jolt - carbs, protein and cheese!

We'll head back to the Blue Moon Bakery as soon as we're able - especially if our guides Tom and Corrie come along. For the companionship of these friends, we can only hope it won't be for another blue moon until we return.

The Genesis of Brunch

Slate has a posting on the birth of brunch...can New York lay claim? Please don't assume I'm trying to infer our little town has anything to do with it. Nope, we Portlanders just celebrate it and flaunt it from nearly every street corner.

Look for more reviews coming soon (an out of town submission and a new report on a local joint).

PS - I/Portland needs a real Jewish deli to review (Kornblatt's just doesn't do it for me). Before I get verklemped, I'll sign off.